Last night I had to admit to Richard that the initial spark that I'd had with him 2 years ago I was failing to get back, I've tried to regain what I felt for him 2 years ago but maybe at this moment in time it's just not to be and that is for various different reasons. I feel a bit down having to break news like that because I kinda feel I may have led him to believe that something would happen and I did want something to happen but if that spark is not there then it's just not there and I've tried and failed to get it back.
On top of that I've been single for just over 2 weeks. It goes back to what I mentioned before 7 months of feelings cannot be turned off after 2 weeks to then enter into another relationship, plus I don't think it would be fair to do that to someone. I think I just need to stay single for a while now and decide what I want relationship wise plus finally close off my feelings that I still have. Richard also needs to be single for a while too and I firmly believe now that the choice that has been made is for the best. It was a mistake and wrong for me to even look into a new relationship just like that at this moment in time
After all the trouble that has gone off has helped me come to the conclusion that I have just done. However me and Richard shall remain friends and we do still have a holiday to go on.
Who knows what will happen in the future, it maybe nothing but ya never know.
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