Friday night myself, Matt and Russel embarked on the new night at Tease in Sheffield where I think we stayed for all of an hour, what a load of rubbish. I won't be going to the next one for sure so instead we headed off to Dempsey's, which though not as busy had a much better atmosphere, also met Claire here as well.
There was some slight tension between Matt and his ex or so it felt that way but we just tried to make what night we could. Matt did stay at mine tonight once we had left Dempsey's, that's after we had been for food. I needed a burger lol but before you ask NO nothing happened at all, some people jump to conclusions far too quickly.
On Saturday I ended up shopping at Meadowhall with Russel and Matt who he picked up to go there with. Shopping Shopping here I come and bought myself 3 new tops and a chain all going on the credit card. Anyway dropped Matt off back home and I picked some stuff up and went to Russel's to get ready to go to Wakefield, then Matt decided he wanted to come after all so Russy went to pick him up whilst I got ready.
Wakefield was OK but we did not stay long before going back to Sheffield and on to Dempsey's, which was rather busy and I stayed till around half 1 to 2am before going home.
I've had to tell Matt as well that we should have no further contact from now on, don't get me wrong, he is such a lovely, genuine caring guy but he is also a confused 18 year old and I'm a grown up 24 year old who can take a lot but only so much and I felt best on this one that he is left to his own devices and take his life where he wants it to go. I don't mind looking after and caring for someone, giving advise and been there for them but when I feel it could have some kind of negative impact on my life then I had to take some kind of action. That's not to say in the future we won't speak again because I'm certain we will but in the mean time unless I have a positive feeling about things I feel I've made the right choice. I'm thinking back to when I was 18 and all the mistakes I made etc I'm glad I did because they made me who I am today. That got me thinking from a brief chat with Russel last night that he feels I'm back to the person he first ever met 7 years ago before it all changed.
It's taken 5 years to get myself back on track, kind like I've gone around in one big circle and done everything bad along the way to then turn myself around to been the old me years ago before it all went drastically wrong and down hill. It makes you wonder how one can go down such a slippery path like that but I've had a tough 5 years if I look at it now but on a positive note I am very happy with how I've turned my life around.
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