Friendships

As you will be able to read back at the start of May I decided to re build the friendship with Russel, the friendship of 8 years that I called off after he began to burden me with his issues, but he made the effort a month after the fall out to sort stuff out and so we then went for a meal and things seemed back on track, unfortunately 3 weeks later been now I have decided that it's not to be. I guess just like relationships, friendships also run their course and this one in my eyes now has so I've taken that step to just call it a day.

So what has changed then? To be honest it has been on my mind for about a week and a half now, I even text Matt saying the same thing a week and a half ago. It began with Russel supplying him with speed, and Russel is 42 and giving a 19 year old drugs because he was complaining he was tired. Actually Russel said that Matt said something on the lines of "I wish I could have some speed to wake me up" but this is Matt who had never had speed and did not know Russel has a supply of it either, so at this point Russel had the choice to say "Well I have some actually if you want to try it" or he could have said nothing, but of course he chose to offer him the speed and gave him a drug that Matt had never had before. Though yes it was Matt's choice to take it as it is for anyone it still showed a different side to the Russel I know. Russel has never really been able to condone drugs and this goes back all the time I have known him. I even know what issues drugs can cause for people and him giving them to someone lowered my opinion in the Russel I knew and the so called morals he had. These so called morels had had are what caused the issues when we recently fell out because he was going against all his morals.

So anyway that is how my mind began to question stuff but to add to that I then questioned how or what Russel has done to get the friendship back on track and to be honest has has not done a great deal. I was looking through my phone today at the made and received calls from Russel and what I found is that in the last 3 months between 7th March and 23rd of May Russel has called me 30 times, and bearing in mind some of these calls are him returning my calls or just quick calls to let me know he is outside in the car (if we have been on a night out)

What I did notice though is between the 9th of May and the 23rd of May I have called him 30 times, my phone only shows the last 30 calls made or received from each person in my phone. So you can see straight away in the space of 2 weeks I have called him the same amount of times he has called me in 2 months and bearing in mind we did not speak for a month but this alone confirms to me that it is actually me making all the effort here and not him. What I then decided to do was look through my phone calls to when the friendship re began and he has called me off his own back 3 times in the last 3 weeks, the rest of the calls he has made to me are returning my calls. I was that bored I actually wrote all the calls down that I made with the time and that he made to me with the time and I could see that very clear pattern that he was returning my calls. The other few calls as mentioned above were to let me know he was outside

On nights out and stuff, he has not even been inviting me, the last one he actually suggested the idea to do was Back Door Disco in Leeds shortly after we made up, other than that he has not made any suggestions to or any nights out he has gone on I've not been invited to. Not a great basis for sorting a friendship out is it and not a basis of a friendship I want either.

So there you have it, that's my reasons - this friendship is just not what it used to be so with that in mind my choice is made.

On a lighter note to life, today I had my induction at the gym, the guy did a little fact finding to see what I wanted to achieve for and told me how best to achieve and what to go on, I will even be having my development plan set up at 8am on Monday. In the mean time me and Andy will be at the gym tomorrow (Thursday) at 9am, this gives me chance to spend some time there and be home, shower and get to work for half 12. Let the fun begin.